Not being able to cope with anger puts a teenager at risk and can prove to be harmful to others around him too.
One thing that parents find most hard to understand among teens are their mood swings and sudden outbursts. Anger is a very valid and important emotion as it helps you to recognise dangerous situations and protect yourself. However, anger is an emotion that can be quite challenging and at times overwhelming for teens.
Not being able to cope with anger puts the teen at risk and can prove to be harmful to others around him. Therefore it becomes imperative to develop skills to handle it.
What pushes the anger button?
Several reasons why a teen may fly off the handle are: » Hormonal changes » Stress » Establishing identity No matter what the reason is, everyone does get angry sometimes.
How to manage anger?
If there is one life skill that matters most in managing anger, it is problem-solving and decision-making. This includes the following steps: » Identify the problem; be aware of what is making you angry. » Think of possible solutions. » Weigh the pros and cons. Choose the best possible solution. If your strategy is
successful, give yourself a pat on the back for doing it. » Reflection on your action is a very important step as it helps to learn skills that shape your decision-making in future situations. » Practice the skill, be patient.
What more can you do?
» Identify trigger factors. » Get into the activity mode. Exercise helps release the good hormones, namely the endorphins, which reduce stress. » Try to distract yourself instead of reacting to the situation. This provides valuable time for planning your strategy. » Listen to music. Music has a wonderful way of changing your mood and helping you to work on your anger. » Anger diary — Write down your feelings, emotions and thoughts that accompany these emotions. Identifying emotions underlying anger and writing them down brings down the intensity of anger. » Practice breathing exercises helps to practice self-control when you are mad with anger and is more useful if done regularly.
When should you seek help?
If you feel that your anger is frequently getting out of hand, you have an underlying problem at home or school, you are frequently and unnecessarily having arguments and you resort to venting your anger by destroying objects or property, you need professional help. A lasting feeling of irritability and bad mood,
feeling so angry that you want to harm yourself or others, could be a sign of depression. Talk to an adult you trust. It could be your parent, teacher or counselor
Red flags that parents can look for
» Negative changes in behavior like self-harm and cutting. » Rapid changes like fall in grades, sleep disturbances, suicidal thoughts, etc, which could be a sign of underlying disorders like depression, anxiety
and eating disorders. » Constant escalation of arguments, violence at home. » Trouble with the law » School absenteeism » Substance abuse
What can parents do?
» Understand teen development and how their brain is wired. Learn to differentiate between a normal and a troubled teen. » Identify the underlying problems like bullying or other medical conditions. » Provide space for venting their anger. » Manage your own anger effectively. » Seek help if confused. » Help your teen to deal with his anger constructively.
